Marriage...

I'm by no means any expert as this marriage thang. I tend to over think and sometimes drive my husband crazy in the process.

When I met Jason, I was twenty three, living with my sis (and attempting to show her the "ropes" of adulthood) and thought I knew it all. I liked to be this busy girl with a full social life, always on the go.

...That was (almost) five years ago.

Today, well I'm still that girl who likes to be busy just about, always. BUT I'm someone's wife now. And I'm lucky to have a guy who understands me sometimes more than I know myself. Sometimes I go so fast, I forget to stop for a minute and pick my husband up for the ride. He's a lot more laid back than I am.

While we were cruisin', he made a comment about how he couldn't wait to be home on the couch with Gigi and I. At one point I got annoyed because we were on vacation and here he was mentioning our pup (though honestly I missed her too) and he said, "Did you hear what I said? I want to be on the couch with the dog...AND YOU"...and I realized; I never really asked my husband what he wanted to do for our one year wedding anniversary. Sure, he wasn't turning down an all inclusive trip on a boat to tropical lands, but that wasn't necessarily what he may have wanted to do. His idea of a perfect "vacay" is literally doing nothing with people he loves. I had him doing anything and everything on vacation and there was no real relaxing being done.

Marriage is...compromise. I'm the oldest of four kids and had teenage parents so I know all about compromising. I feel like I'm very fair with most everyone expect Jason. For whatever reason, when I met Jason I somehow felt it was okay not to always consider his feelings the way he does mine or how I do for others. I don't know why I do this and mostly I'm not even aware of it.

Marriage is...wonderful. Its been some work and I honestly was NOT expecting there to be any (I guess I still think I know it all, huh?) but I wouldn't change any of the fights we've had. It made us stronger.

I'm still working on this compromise stuff (clearly) but having a partner like Jason makes me aware that sometimes I'm more selfish than he is. And I've also learned just because you're compromising, doesn't mean you're letting pieces of yourself go (ah, that stubbornness in me), which I think is why I sometimes tend to act the way I do.

As our one year wedding anniversary approaches, I feel so incredibly lucky, and blessed to be married to the guy I wasn't even looking for. I may not have anything  else in my life together, but at least I've got that right.

We be broke (Meal Plannin')

Okay, so it's not like we can't pay our bills or anything, but money is a tad tight this month. We're still paying for our cruise that we're taking in March, hubs needs new tires, we're having a fab-u-lous party with our friends next weekend (ugly/tacky sweaters, ya'll!!) plus we are hosting Christmas Eve for my family this year as well (and we like to eat so can't skimp there). Oh and you know it's also Christmas, or something in a few weeks.

The only way to spend less is to eat in more. That is usually my goal each week but it doesn't take much for me to get derailed here. Guess what? When I don't have a plan, I spend more money and  I usually eat worse. And if I'm being honest here, I think my ass is growing. Sadly, not in a sex-ay J.Lo kinda way--no friends like I have indulged a bit too much lately and sat on said bottom more often, than not.

So I'm being that wife who makes a plan. And more specifically (another tackle at) a meal plan, chart, and list.


{First attempt at making a plan, chart, and grocery list for one week}



I'm hoping to kill two birds here, people: save some cashola and lose some poundage. That way I can afford a cute dress for the season with the money I (hopefully) save and fit into it better...

Here's hoping! How do you save money when things are tight (or 38 things come up at once?!)

Word of the day: Compromise

Hubs and I dated for over three years before we got married, so we knew each other pretty well. But here is something married people like to tell you, "You don’t know someone until you marry them". Being the know it all that I can be, I thought, "Psssh, we know each other, thankyouverymuch. We’re not like the rest of you". They also tell you marriage is work and compromise. And again I tossed my head back and rolled my eyes. Yea, yea, yea it’s work and compromise, blah, blah, blah.

Jason and I are both super stubborn independent people and it has definitely caused a few arguments in the past. When were just dating, we had a few bumps along the way due to this. My mom, who has been married to my dad for twenty-five years, tells me all the time that someday I’ll learn to pick and choose my battles. I love my dad to bits but sometimes I see where I think he is wrong on something and my mom just keeps her mouth shut (side note: my mom is an Italian and Irish lady from West New York and isn’t timid or quiet. She’s just smart and has been married for a long time) and when I ask her about it later, shel'll tell me, "You’ll learn, Nichole. It comes with age". And that really annoyed me. Why do I need to be the one to compromise myself for someone else?! Won’t I lose myself in the process and really, how is that fair? If this is the case, why the hell did I get married?! (side note: I tend to overreact in the heat of the moment, in case you couldn’t tell)

But in just the short time hubs and I have on the ride through marriage land, I see what mom has been talking about. I love my husband (duh, otherwise we wouldn’t have gotten hitched) but there are days we drive each other insane and because we’re not *just* dating anymore, we have to find a balance or we’ll kill each other. There isn’t any breaking up over stupid stuff. If you have a fight, well you have to figure out a way to learn and move on from it. I have to be honest and say most of the time; it’s me (now I really hope you’re reading this, J. You know I would never say this aloud!). I am usually the one who gets worked up and opens their mouth, first. Actually Jason has probably "compromised" himself more than I have throughout our relationship—he gets it better than I do, huh? Sometimes, I have valid reasons and sometimes I am mad about something else that I didn’t speak up about and then I decided to open my mouth (I really need to work on this self control thing) when I was really annoyed.

I’m learning though. It’s not that compromise in your marriage means compromising yourself. It’s growing up is all and learning that not everything is worth a fight. It can def be a struggle for someone like me who often speaks before she thinks but I’m starting to see and understand…all in good time, I hope.

I'll compromise with this guy (and his fancy tuxedo shirt) any day <3

So to all you married folks, engaged couples and dating peeps, have you known the art of compromise all along, or is it something that you have had to work at?