Eleven...

Eleven months ago today, and I became a wife. Ya'll WHERE has the time GONE?!

One year ago today and I was:

Getting ready for my bridal shower (give or take a few days)

{Sister/MOH and I}

{A replica of our save the date...on cake!}

Freaking the heck out about our wedding and making sure everything was done

 

Things like seating charts, rsvps, and...music (oh, the music...)

Last year this time, I started to forget things. I can remember walking around our local Publix grocery store on the phone with my mom and completely forgetting how or why I was there. Ya'll, I pride myself on remembeirng everything and yet I couldn't even recall what I was at the store for?!

 

Weddings can be so stressful. You want everything to be perfect and don't want to forget a thing.

But after the wedding, comes the real work: The marriage.

Fast Forward one year:

I am unemployed

We have a furbaby and are seriously considering furbaby numero dos

I've had fights and thoughts with/about  my new husband that I never dreamed I'd have

I've also fallen more in love with him (and I didn't think that was possible!) through these things

 

I still have my freak outs about life and overreact but I think I'm the most calm I have ever been after working through things with Jason. I'm sure he would disagree but I feel a lot more chill than I have in the past about...everything in my life

The ONLY thing I would have done different a year ago is...RELAXED.

I (like so many brides to be) caused so much unnecessary stress to myself (and everyone around me) towards the end of our planning

The other thing (okay, so I have two things) I would have done differently was a "first look" with Jason. He didn't want to see me until the ceremony; but looking back with everything going on, a few minutes alone with my groom before it all started would have calmed my nerves (I was nervous to be in front of everyone walking down the aisle) and given us a moment that we wouldn't get alone until our honeymoon (where we were exhausted and slept mostly the first two days!)

 

Here's to us, Jason! I love your face and can't wait for whatever the hell life has to offer!

{Clearly, I make ridic faces}

{Photo cred: Caroline & Evan Photography}

How Jason & I Met

Ya'll, Jason and I were featured on a new  site called, How did we meet? Since we are newlyweds and I share our journey through marriage-land on my little ol' blog, I thought it was really fun that they contacted me to ask for our story.

How J and I met may not be very interesting to you, but I think we all have our stories and thats what makes for good memories, right? All we have is the story at the end of the day, anyway...

Feel free to submit to them how you met your "person" too.

I love a good story!

Soooo, if you're a sap like me, check out our story, here and feel free to comment!!

In a funk, yo...

I cannot believe it has been almost a year since Jason and I have been married, ya'll. WHERE the hell did the time....go?
And it's been almost five years since I met my guy. When I met J, I was doing the medifast diet. I'd lost like almost 30lbs and while I still had more to lose, I thought I was hot ish something else. I mean I wasn't walking around acting like that but when I met Jason, I was kind of cocky about it. Um, in my defense I was also twenty-three, and clearly had a lot to learn about myself.

Fast forward and I've gained the weight back and then some. And that's not even what upsets me, but I feel like I have let myself go. I mean I'm not walking around wearing a mumu or anything. But back in the day, I really made more of an effort with my appearance.

Once Jason and I started dating, I had to change some things. He's a chill guy and wasn't going to deal with some chick wearing uncomfortable heels and complaining about it after an hour. He always tells me he thinks I am beautiful and a lot of the time I'm wearing pj pants, a tee and my glasses and while that's sweet I think sometimes when you're in lurve you get lazy. You don't mean to (I know I didn't) but it happens...

I had dinner with a girlfriend last night. She is one of my fave people, ever. She went through a very bad divorce recently and of course it's changed her. Before when she was married, I always thought she was a beautiful gal (inside and out), but she used to joke that she wasn't into fashion and didn't care about all that. Now that she is single, she is different in how she dresses. She def makes more of an effort. I'm not saying at all that she didn't make an effort before, but that if someone like her (cute, petite, etc) was happy, comfortable and what not then where does that leave me?

And like I said its not that Jason has said anything. But I am more insecure now than not and what that means for he and I is that I constantly ask him if I look okay and occasionally freak out if he takes too long to answer and if he thinks I am pretty. Like if that  isn't a total buzz kill for a marriage, I don't know what is.

It's time I work on myself. So I feel better and so I don't constantly bombard my husband with questions he can never answer correctly.

{I may occasionally be guilty of this, myself}

Hope you have a fan{tache}tic Valentines Day!

Happy Love Day, ya'll! Yes, I love...well, love. And I have a great guy to spend the day with, too.

BUT...

Over the top gestures aint  my guy's thang. Our first Vday was four years ago where he took me to Melting Pot and gave me a very generous Sbux gift card (which was a huge gesture because Jason has issues with this particular establishment), but he knew I loved coffee like it was crack (still do), and he also gave me this card too (even though he didn't get it b/c he doesn't watch)



 But fast forward 4+ years and now I say know the one you're with and appreciate the stuff you already have together and do. This year (our first married Valentines!) will be spent getting happy hour beers at Hattricks, downtown follwed by a Lightning game. Sunday I made a frozen pizza (compliments of a Klout perk for free) and chocolate fondue while we watched a movie (because I knew that would be something J would love most: a night in on the couch. My guy is way chill, ya'll)

{fondue at home}

...BUT

I also say love the ones you have. I remember the single days. Feeling like you were all alone on this day. But you have your friends, family, pets...whatever  and you should love them and appreciate them today, as well! Because they're there for you ALL year round.

{sent these cards out. I apparently have a thing for 'staches?}

I gave our niece and nephew (the toddler ones) some candy, sent cards to friends and family and gave J some fun gifts:

{Modern Family, season 2 and Star Wars ish}

Happy Valentines Day!

10

Hubs and I have been hitched TEN freakin' months, already! I can't believe it's been almost a year! This time last year, I was gearing up for my kick ass bachelorette party in Key West and starting to seriously stress about making sure our wedding came together the way I saw in my head.

Marriage land has been mostly awesome. Ya'll know that there have been some tough roads behind us. I had actually googled at around month five or six, "newlyweds argue" to make sure it wasn't just us. It wasn't. Every couple is different and while I thought we would be some exception, I was oh so wrong. But sometimes you have to disagree to learn how to agree...you will come out stronger if you learn to work with your partner. I know this isn't some worldy advice or anything but I come home and am so happy that J is my husband. And I really love, repect and appreciate him in a way that I never would have if we didn't necessarily go through some of the things we have.

And with that cheesiness, I will leave you with Jason's most fave professional wedding picture. It's freakin' hilarious. I don't remember being upset about anything but stick around long enough and you'll see that I actually make a lot of weird facial expressions and sometimes they get snapped a certain way. This is one where our photographers just happened to catch me at the right....moment?

{I always think of the game, Mortal Kombat when the guy would say, "GET OVER HERE"}
{Feel free to add your own caption to this photo!}

Love you, Jason!

Life as a Newlywed {Budgeting 101}

This week, Jason and I had..."the talk". The least favorable topic any two people could discuss (well, in my opinion at least) had to be done.


It took (almost) ten months, but I finally got the hubs to agree to merging our cash. And since I am losing my job in T-5 days, it just made that much more sense. At first, you look at a joint bank account and think, "Holy crap, we have a lot of money"...not.so.much. Once our bills are paid, however and we still have quite a bit of money leftover and I have NO idea where it is all going!


J and I are so very different (have I not said that a bazillion times on here?)  when it comes to just about everythang. So of course that means the way we spend and save our loot is no exception.


But we sat down, hashed it all out  and it went pretty smooth, I think (this time last year, we were arguing over music for our wedding. For serious, like I was stressed and having temper tantrums for our first dance song and J did not like any of my selections. We have come a long way, ya'll).


Not gonna lie, before we merged, Jason still paid most of the time we went anywhere (he's good like that) and it made me feel good and also saved me  some cash!


But, we are a team now and even though part of me finds this budget talk un-romantic (I mean does talking about paying off debt float your boat? Eh, not mine), I am also seriouslsy stoked for this challenge we get to face together (cheesy, I know) as partners.


We've given ourselves an allowance. I will get $50/week to do whatever I want with (J will get a little more because he makes more money than I do). I don't know who you are, but sometimes $50/week seems like plenty and some weeks, I'm going to struggle with it. But you know what? Not all that long ago, I was working two jobs (60 hour work weeks), attempting school and still  struggling to stay afloat and pay all of my bills. So really, what the hell am I whining about? We're pretty lucky to have extra money left over to even pay our stuff off, let alone a friggin' allowance.


I'm ready for the next challenge as married folks. Bring it on!!

How do you manage your finances? Do you give yourself an allowance...or what?

Good-bye {to my single gal checking account}

Dear SGCA (Single Gal Checking Account),

As much as I hate to do it, we must say our final good-bye. I'm sure it seems silly to "write" a letter to you, but if you think about it, we've been through a lot together, through the years, yes? I can still remember the day my mom took me to the bank at a mere fifteen years old to "meet" you. I guess it was my first real taste of the grown up world.

I had to figure out how to balance a check book, write checks and use a debit card. By the time I moved out of my parents house and into my own place at eighteen, I thought I was a pro at this banking stuff. Man, did I have a lot to still learn...

And of course there were times when I didn't do any of the above tasks, correctly and bounced here and there (we won't talk about my early 20's when I didn't really pay attention to you and bounced quite a few things ) but these were my lessons to learn, and mine alone. I had to find a way to properly budget so that you wouldn't go over again and could take care of me (even if that meant eating copious amounts of ramen, hot pockets and Campbell's chicken noodle soup, at times) so that I could pay my rent and what not.

But I'm married now. And my new husband is stubbornly attached to his own checking account and is one of those "credit union" people. You know the type; the "my credit union is better than your bank" folk, who wouldn't dream of having an account anywhere else.

It's okay though, mostly my new spouse accommodates me and I usually get my way. But he wouldn't budge on this topic, so here we are.

We have had a great thirteen years (on a side note, has it seriously been that  long?!) and I will always remember you fondly. While we were together, I discovered a lot about myself and learned quite a few lessons along the way.

I hope you don't take this personally, and know that I'll never forget you.

Love,
Nichole

{Hubs & I went over our budget last night & worked on a financial plan together...more on that, later!}

9 months

No, we're not preggars (in case anyone has babies on the brain!)...Hubs and I were hitched nine months ago, today! I can't believe we are closer to our one year wedding anniversary than not.

It's been an inter-est-ing nine months to say the least! Most of the time, J is quite the modest dude. But the other day he said I should blog about how awesome he is (I said sometimes  he is modest, other days he is a friggin' comedian).

But in all seriousness, I do have an awesome husband. Sometimes, I want to throw something at him (and I'm sure sometimes that feeling is very  mutual) but most of that has passed and I love him more than I did when we got married (seriously, when you hear people say that you think, "Okay, now how can you be more  in love with your spouse than you were on the day where you vowed to such a commitment to one another?" At least that's what I questioned. But as stressful as planning your wedding can be, you learn that marriage is hard work some days too and if you can get through those issues, then no doubt you love that person more after. I get it now...)

We're still learning some things as we go, but I am one happy and lucky wifey, ya'll...

Happy "anniversary", Jason <3

Seven Months!

Seven months ago, Jason and I were hitched! Can it really be more than half a year, already?!

I feel felt so naïve to have thought the first year would be a heavenly bliss of matrimony. I mean, hell-o, how could it not be? Jason and I had already known each other for three years and nine months before we got hitched. We’d lived together once for six months and then again for a year (so obviously the break in living together one time meant we had some issues to deal with and obviously we had tackled them, yes?). We were equals, so how could our first year be anything but ah-mazing.

I have been wrong. Not all the time wrong (I *really* dislike being wrong, btw) but every day with my new husband has not been a utopia of domestic bliss.

At times, hubs and I can be VERY different, but we do have a lot of the same values and ideals. We handle stress and everyday life differently, though. I am a talker and worrier and he is a thinker and more quiet. About three-four months into our new marriage, we started to argue. A lot. I think mostly because of how I handle stress (or rather don't handle it, lol) and because I sooo badly wanted us to become "one", merging bank accounts, having a plan (when will we have kids, should we buy a house, is he going back to school, where am I going for my BA, etc) and all that jazz; whereas J didn't mind if we did all these things but he wasn't in any immediate rush...he didn’t get my sense of urgency and I didn’t get his lack of it. We actually still have quite a bit of learning about each other to do (though I bet if J is reading this, he will naturally disagree with me)!

Marriage is work that I did not expect it to be. You can’t just break up if you have a bad fight and honestly you can’t always bitch and moan to your family or girlfriends, anymore. This isn’t just some jerky guy that you’re dating, anymore (not that Jason is/was a jerk but you get my point) This is the dude you vowed to spend the rest of your life with and so now your problems are…your problems and only the two involved can work it out. We have and we are, though. Hubs and I both don’t believe in divorce just because it gets….hard. So we’re in it for the long haul and because we know that, we have been able to work it out more, and more. I hate to admit it, but momma has been right (damn her!) and it does get better.

People can tell you their own experiences with their marriage, but until it is you, you won’t ever get "it" (at least I didn’t). But something else; as much as we have disagreed and argued throughout these newlywed months, I have also fallen so much more in love with him and I didn't think that was possible...so with the bad comes the good, too :) for us, anyway!

Happy seven months!

Random Wednesday Ramblings: Holidays and such

Happy Hump Day, and Happy November to you! I can’t believe that it is almost the end of the year. Kind of insane! What I really can’t believe is in just eleven days, my little sister will become a newlywed herself (!). This time last year, I was planning my own wedding, taking nine credits to finish my associates (and observing classrooms, too), and working the same full time job I have now. I’m not real sure how I did it, but I did. I fell in love with planning in the process and am still not sure what the hell I am doing with *life*, so there you go. In some ways. nothing.has.changed.

I still have a ton of the same goals: lose weight; pay off debts; merge bank accounts with hubs (yes, still a household debate for us); change my name at the office (I have legally and officially changed it everywhere else, at least!) get a dog (done!)…

It’s just funny to me that as the year winds down (again) some things feel exactly the same and other things are so different. Such is life, I suppose?

But I am ready for the holidays, for sure this year! Last year I was beyond stressed with all the above stuff, and mentally exhausted. Plus paying for our wedding, left us b.r.o.k.e (our parents helped a ton, but we still paid for quite a bit of little things and personal touches, ourselves) meaning no grand gifts or anything last year (though I did get some comfy slippers from J and, natch Gigi ate them. Last week)

But now that Jason and I (and Gigi-opolous) are a family of our own, I definitely plan to get into the season more this year and start some of our own traditions. Before now, I always left it up to my momma and mother in law for J’s side and while we’ll still do the family thing, I think it’s time to step up some of my own holiday game as a married lady.

Maybe something like this for Thanksgiving?

How about for Christmas?! LOVE

Bring it on! This Mrs. is ready.

Who else is ready for the holidays?

Married peeps and meal plans?

T.G.I.F! I don’t know why, but this week has been so draining. I mean neither hubs nor I did much after work this week. Maybe it’s just all the busy-ness catching up with me?

But seriously, I have been super busy lately, and while I l.o.v.e. having lots to do; it makes me a poor planner for my home life. Meaning, I spend money I shouldn’t eating out and of course eating out doesn’t mean I always eat healthy. And then I have guilt for eating out so much, because we are saving up for our cruise in March. It's a vicious cycle, people!

Plus, now that I am a married gal, I try and have more of a plan for the week with meals. "Try" being the key word here. Hubs doesn’t expect me to cook dinner every night (no 50’s wife here, ya’ll) and we are both good about taking turns cooking. But since we are doing low-carb together, I feel like we need a game plan, that much more. Hubs is very low key and laid back and has no problem cooking for himself or making his own dinner…that’s great, right? You would think, but it drives.me.nuts. Mainly because I like when we eat together and feel like that is what we should be doing. I don’t know why it bothers me that we don’t always do dinner together, but it does maybe I am a control freak?!.

We moved in (for the second time, long story) a few months after we got engaged and our different meal times/menus didn’t bother me. Perhaps, because I was in school full time and planning our wedding is why it didn’t bug me but now, it does.

I feel like I/we have breakfast down. I usually make a frittata or crustless quiche a few times a week for us to eat in the am. Lunch, we pretty much do our own thang (For the record, J brings a can of green beans every day to work. every.day. I mean, who does that? This girl needs variety). (Oh yea, I guess this is a good time to point out, I also waste money at lunch too. But I mean some most days, it is just way better getting out and ordering something than eating another salad. By myself. See, this is why I need a plan!).


So I guess I am asking for advice from you all:

1. Do you have a "meal plan" down or do you do whatever the heck you feel like?
2. Who cooks more? You or your husband/boyfriend/man-friend/whatever?

Help a newlywed out, puh-lease!

How to be a "Good" Wife

So, there is an "article" that has been floating around that was published in Housekeeping Monthly, 13 May, 1955. I have NO idea if this is real (and if you look it up on Snopes.com, they can’t verify if it is indeed a real article, or not). But it made me laugh--loud. Maybe you have seen this before and maybe you have not, but, I thought I would compare the expectations from 1955 versus today’s day (at least in our household):

　

• Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed

First of all, my husband is a weirdo. He eats dinner late, like 8:30pm late. I can’t do that and the rare times when we do make a plan and eat dinner together, if he cooks for me he knows I will be über cranky if I ate as late as he did (notice sometimes HUBS cooks, btw). And thanks to cell phones, we both text and email each other a few times throughout the day, so I think he knows I have been thinking about him all day and am concerned about his needs.

• Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people

Ugh, yea. I, too, am one of these "work-weary people" that you speak of. Enough said.

• Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it

Hubs actually really likes his job. It is me who doesn’t feel mentally stimulated a lot of the time after work. Just sayin’

• Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables

Confession time: I am actually quite the neat freak and "if" I have extra time, I already "tidy up" as it is. Hubs could care less though and so "clutter" isn’t really an issue for my dude.

• During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction

Wha?! Lucky we don’t have a fireplace, I guess…

• Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet

A)We don’t have children yet and B) Since we both work full time jobs, I can guarantee you I am not running any washer/dryer or vacuum at the anticipation of his arrival. Sorry.

• Be happy to see him

Well, that one I do agree with. But not to appease, but because I genuinely am glad to see him

• Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours

Ha! I am a terrible wife by these standards. I’m a loud mouth who doesn’t always know when to stop talking.

• Don't greet him with complaints and problems

Yea, I would say that is probably a good one. I don’t follow it though and really am can be a huge whiner and I know there are times, hubs wishes I wasn’t.

• Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work

Um, if I took the time to cook for my guy, he better be home to eat it! And if he isn't staying out late with yours truly, you better believe I'd like to know who he IS with (and vice versa!)

• Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him

Uh yea, I actually have told J if ever I am a kept woman, I will greet him happily everyday with a drink. Probably not, though. Let’s be honest here.

• Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice

Arrange his pillow?! Should I feed him, as well?

• Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him

"……."

• A good wife always knows her place

I’ll give you a place

　

Thing is, I highly doubt that if this is a real article, women followed these "rules". I know that back in the day for most families, men were the providers and women took care of the home and children; though actually some of this would explain the (second) women’s movement that started in the early ‘60s. I’d start a riot myself for some equality if I had to take my husband’s shoes off everyday, fluff his damn pillow, talk in a soothing, low voice with well behaved children who didn’t make a peep while also getting dinner on the table in time. Just sayin'

I love that if I do things for my husband that are nice, it’s because I want to and not because I’m supposed to. I am soooo glad to be a newlywed in 2011, people!



Source:weburbanist via AmandaA on pinterest

We come together cuz opposites attract

Sorry, I couldn't help but bust out a cheesy Paula Abdul song. I promise it won't happen again.

In all honesty though, Jason and I couldn't be more opposite at times. Sure we share a lot of the same values, goals and ideas but in a lot of ways, we are very opposite. I tend to overthink react fast to situations and have a constant sense of urgency (sometimes this comes back to kick me in the keister) to get things done. Jason, on the other hand, well....doesn't. He is a very laid back and chill kind of guy and that usually is one of my most favorite things about him.

When Jason and I met, we both were pretty independent people. He had a roommate and I had just moved in with my little sister after living on my own for four or so years. I was happy to date a guy who knew how to feed himself, pay his own bills and do laundry. In some ways, I felt like I had won the boyfriend lotto!

J and I moved in together a few months after we got engaged and had a lot of wedding planning to do. I was also still in school, so had plenty of distractions. Now that the honeymoon is literally over, where do two "slightly" stubborn people who know how to take care of themselves go from here?
I am really wanting us to combine our paychecks/bank accounts and make more decisions together as a married couple. Nowadays obviously, most couples have already lived on their own and know how to take care of themselves and their own life, so does it really matter? But while I feel like we have to merge everything, Jason has the mentality, if it ain't broke, don't fix it...

I know every couple is different but for me, I feel like combining our finances will make both of us more accountable with our spending (I may have a slight addiction to all things coffee and Coach) and also help us to set more financial goals together.

So to all you married folk out there, what did you do once you said, "I do"?

Four months...

and two days ago, I married my most favorite person in the whole world. I have decided to start a new blog to keep family and friends updated and also to see a year or so from now how this first year in marriage land goes for us newlyweds...

A little about us for those who don't know: we met at an after work happy hour, where Jason bought me a Jaeger Bomb drink and we got to talking right away. A few years later and bumps along the way, Jason and I both realized we were IT for one another.

Jason proposed to me on his birthday, March 13th, where I (of course) said yes before walking into a room of our closest friends and family to celebrate our engagement.

We were married April 9th under the beautiful oak trees of Cross Creek Ranch on the most blessed day of our lives. It was an amazing day, and I'm still not over it.

Jason works as a paralegal for an insurance defense firm, and I sell property insurance until I figure out what I want to "be".

Now, we are just trying to navigate our journey as husband and wife one day at a time.