I'm by no means any expert as this marriage thang. I tend to over think and sometimes drive my husband crazy in the process.
When I met Jason, I was twenty three, living with my sis (and attempting to show her the "ropes" of adulthood) and thought I knew it all. I liked to be this busy girl with a full social life, always on the go.
Today, well I'm still that girl who likes to be busy just about, always. BUT I'm someone's wife now. And I'm lucky to have a guy who understands me sometimes more than I know myself. Sometimes I go so fast, I forget to stop for a minute and pick my husband up for the ride. He's a lot more laid back than I am.
While we were cruisin', he made a comment about how he couldn't wait to be home on the couch with Gigi and I. At one point I got annoyed because we were on vacation and here he was mentioning our pup (though honestly I missed her too) and he said, "Did you hear what I said? I want to be on the couch with the dog...AND YOU"...and I realized; I never really asked my husband what he wanted to do for our one year wedding anniversary. Sure, he wasn't turning down an all inclusive trip on a boat to tropical lands, but that wasn't necessarily what he may have wanted to do. His idea of a perfect "vacay" is literally doing nothing with people he loves. I had him doing anything and everything on vacation and there was no real relaxing being done.
Marriage is...compromise. I'm the oldest of four kids and had teenage parents so I know all about compromising. I feel like I'm very fair with most everyone expect Jason. For whatever reason, when I met Jason I somehow felt it was okay not to always consider his feelings the way he does mine or how I do for others. I don't know why I do this and mostly I'm not even aware of it.
Marriage is...wonderful. Its been some work and I honestly was NOT expecting there to be any (I guess I still think I know it all, huh?) but I wouldn't change any of the fights we've had. It made us stronger.
I'm still working on this compromise stuff (clearly) but having a partner like Jason makes me aware that sometimes I'm more selfish than he is. And I've also learned just because you're compromising, doesn't mean you're letting pieces of yourself go (ah, that stubbornness in me), which I think is why I sometimes tend to act the way I do.
As our one year wedding anniversary approaches, I feel so incredibly lucky, and blessed to be married to the guy I wasn't even looking for. I may not have anything else in my life together, but at least I've got that right.
When I met Jason, I was twenty three, living with my sis (and attempting to show her the "ropes" of adulthood) and thought I knew it all. I liked to be this busy girl with a full social life, always on the go.
...That was (almost) five years ago.
Today, well I'm still that girl who likes to be busy just about, always. BUT I'm someone's wife now. And I'm lucky to have a guy who understands me sometimes more than I know myself. Sometimes I go so fast, I forget to stop for a minute and pick my husband up for the ride. He's a lot more laid back than I am.
While we were cruisin', he made a comment about how he couldn't wait to be home on the couch with Gigi and I. At one point I got annoyed because we were on vacation and here he was mentioning our pup (though honestly I missed her too) and he said, "Did you hear what I said? I want to be on the couch with the dog...AND YOU"...and I realized; I never really asked my husband what he wanted to do for our one year wedding anniversary. Sure, he wasn't turning down an all inclusive trip on a boat to tropical lands, but that wasn't necessarily what he may have wanted to do. His idea of a perfect "vacay" is literally doing nothing with people he loves. I had him doing anything and everything on vacation and there was no real relaxing being done.
Marriage is...compromise. I'm the oldest of four kids and had teenage parents so I know all about compromising. I feel like I'm very fair with most everyone expect Jason. For whatever reason, when I met Jason I somehow felt it was okay not to always consider his feelings the way he does mine or how I do for others. I don't know why I do this and mostly I'm not even aware of it.
Marriage is...wonderful. Its been some work and I honestly was NOT expecting there to be any (I guess I still think I know it all, huh?) but I wouldn't change any of the fights we've had. It made us stronger.
I'm still working on this compromise stuff (clearly) but having a partner like Jason makes me aware that sometimes I'm more selfish than he is. And I've also learned just because you're compromising, doesn't mean you're letting pieces of yourself go (ah, that stubbornness in me), which I think is why I sometimes tend to act the way I do.
As our one year wedding anniversary approaches, I feel so incredibly lucky, and blessed to be married to the guy I wasn't even looking for. I may not have anything else in my life together, but at least I've got that right.
Love this post, so true my friend, compromise is truly so important in marriage :-)
ReplyDeleteLove this, friend <3
ReplyDeleteThat is so sweet and I really think a lot of the times me and my hubby argue are because of the same reasons you mentioned. I'm always quick to consider the feelings of others but often forget about the most important man in my life. Love this post! And I hope you both were able to have a little time to relax on the couch with your furbaby after all :)
ReplyDeleteLove this post! Well said :o)
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more with this post! The first year of marriage can be the hardest, but once you get used to the compromise, marriage is a beautiful thing. I still have to remind myself to treat my husband as well as I treat others, and he really appreciates the effort. And having an appreciative husband rocks. :)
ReplyDeleteWell said and so honest. I've been married for 11 years this month and although I will say "it gets easier", it still always takes work. I think it sounds like you are in it for the long haul and being open to change and compromise is admirable! I hope your hubby read this...I think he would probably like it! :)
ReplyDelete