Thursday, July 11, 2013


Can I tell you all a secret? I hate clutter. Ninety percent of the time, our house is clean {as in no dirt}, but lately, it is bey-ond cluttered, and I hate a pile up of such things.

I know being a law school widow is nothing compared to what others go through. You know, like actual widows, and military spouses, and sad things like that. But the "quality" time I get to spend with Jason is few and far between. And while I know he is busting his ass hump for us, I am sure the last thing he wants to do is work forty hours and go to school at night. And then study in between. But even though rationally I do know all this, sometimes I am still mad with him.

Maybe mad isn't the right adjective here, but it works for me in the moment. I get upset {maybe that's better?} because I am the one who now goes places alone, and has to explain to the four hundredth person why Jason couldn't make it out, since he has to study. I get annoyed because I know he is killing himself for us and our future, and that leaves me to do the majority of cleaning, cooking, and general house ish in general. And mostly, I do think it is more than fair. I wouldn't want to memorize case laws all weekend and read and read, and read until my retinas started to detach {dramatic, much?}.

But sometimes I get lost in who Nichole is in all this. I have no idea how mothers do this. HOW?! And when I get like this, I let the house stuff get behind. To the point where I don't want to do anything but avoid it. The last thing I want to do when I am in a law school widow funk, is clean. So the clutter begins to build. Literally and figuratively.

And with a cluttered home, comes a cluttered mind for yours truly. And sometimes as sad as it sounds {by the way, I didn't intend for this to sound so sad and boring, but here it is}, I get lost in a fog, until I physically clear the clutter at Casa de Crews.

This past weekend, I cleaned and de-cluttered our 1100sqft condo rental. And you know what? My mind is more clear, and I feel so much better.

I think I need a hobby. Or possibly a maid.

Do your surroundings affect your mood?


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  1. I hate clutter, but I have decided it is unavoidable for us. Too much stuff, too small of a house. I'm actually really stressed out how the house is going to look when Hagin starts working from home full time. I think I need to hire a professional organizer and a maid so I don't lose my mind.

  2. I can completely relate. John can never make it to things bc of his work schedule. Or now that we have kids one of us has to stay home with the boys. I hate clutter too. My house is cluttered right now. I'm attacking it later today. It's worse now that John is living in Miami. I'd rather play with the boys then do chores.

  3. My husband is halfway through getting a PhD in philosophy and teaches a lot (and only recently stopped working at Starbucks), so I can definitely relate to your situation. I'm nowhere a neat/clean freak, but I like it when the house is picked up, clean and organized. It's hard to motivate myself to make it that way because my husband often can't help with that stuff. So our house is often cluttered. Dan's actually much better at cleaning than me and when a semester ends, he usually goes into a cleaning frenzy. I let him go crazy and just do my best to help. We'll have to do some major cleaning today and tomorrow morning because we're having a little kid party tomorrow afternoon. I'm sure the place will be a disaster afterwards.

  4. Clutter makes me feel surly and ragey. I hate when things are laying all over. I think everything has a place. MFD thinks everything should be in a convenient place. Those are two very different things.

  5. ABSOLUTELY. I'm driving myself insane...trying to clean up after a dog, and now Scott's dad is visiting and it's a lot of stress. I feel like I have a full time job without having any job at all.

  6. I looove to declutter as well :-) My favorite weekend activity (I don't sound lame ha).

  7. I completely understand. I wish I were one of those people who clean when they're upset, but it's just the opposite. When I start to feel depressed, the absolute LAST thing I want to do is clean or pick up around the house. It's frustrating!!

  8. Oh my god, totally me. At least you have an excuse with Jason - mine is just that I'm too tired to clean. But then the mess makes me feel even more exhausting. First world problem?