Thursday, June 13, 2013

Dear Nichole

For whatever reason, I sometimes recall right after high school, people telling me, "If I had known then what I knew now...", and how badly it annoyed me. I used tell {myself} that I would never say that. If I had known then, what I know now...I'd be cramming my size eight foot into my mouth as I type this.

But luckily I am not that flexible {ha!}; by eighteen I was already living on my own and mentally I thought I knew it all, kids. So naturally by the time I was twenty-one, I really thought I knew everything. Oh young, naive Nichole.

Dear Nichole (21),

First and foremost, you worry way too much. Most things are out of your control and you should really learn to relax. Yes, you have real bills to pay, while you attempt to go to school. And these things will always be important but you know what, somehow everything always seems to work out. Yes, it sort of blows living on ramen, canned chicken, and pre-packaged lunch meat, but you figure it all out, and while you think life sucks and it's not fair that none of your friends have to struggle, it will build SO much character for you in the future. Plus, all your worrying just makes you sick with strep throat and/or tonsilitis over and over, until you finally have those pesky, stressful tonsils {and adenoids} removed in five years. 

When you're parents tell you they can't let you move back in because they don't have the room, don't hold a grudge for years to come. Your parents really do love you and as you get older, your mom is one of your best friends. And when you send a pissy email because you're so hurt, and mom replies, "we can't financially help you, but we have taught you invaluable life lessons", you'll someday realize they really did and they love the living shiz out of you. 

Not everything is about money, though it seems that way right now. Your circumstances will improve someday, for you and your parents. And they'll always help you when they can {maybe someday you get married and they are able to financially foot most of the bill to give you one of the most beautiful, memorable days of your life}. Plus, again if you don't struggle now, you'll keep making the same mistakes again and again. Do you really want to be doing this and worrying in five or ten years?!

That man-friend of yours? He isn't a bad guy, but he isn't going to be your guy {he is just as confused as to what he wants, as you are}.True, he is way better a pick for you than the high school boyfriend, but you're twenty-one, enjoy it, hooker! After a year already of back and forth, you should completely cut ties with this guy, but you won't because you think this guy is the love of your life and you'll try this relationship for a year or so longer. Its pointless, except that when you are done, the timing as to when you finally walk away, couldn't be any more perfect.  Girrrrrl, you don't even know! Your current whateveryouwanttocallit, will be a friend I think for life, but he isn't the ONE. You will meet someone who makes your life infinitely better, and your heart so full. Be nice to him, he likes you from the get go and isn't like other guys you have ever met. Again, I tell you learn to r-e-l-a-x.

You are always a social butterfly and as you get older, will continue to have all sorts of friends. It is a wonderful thing! But almost every one you know and refer to as a "best friend", they are still the closest people in your life. You will go through ups and downs and periods of time not always talking to them, but these friends...they'll always be there for you and vice versa. You'll learn someday it is about quality and not quantity {if I knew then what I knew now}. You'll learn silly girl, you really will.

Your life is not anywhere where you think it will be. It is so much better.

Love you, B!
Love Me (29)

P.S. You should totally pick up the cookbook, Mastering the Art of French Cooking, and aspire to cook all 524 recipes in just 365 days. Then blog about it. Trust me. ;-)


  1. Awesome freaking letter, Nichole. Seriously loved it.

  2. Great letter! Can you tell 21yr old Nichole to go find 21yr old Jeremey and tell him the same thing? Seriously, great letter.

  3. How awesome! I may steal this idea! It's really cool!

  4. Awesome p.s.

    So many things I thought were SO UNFAIR of my parents were actually great.

  5. Looks like you've gained a good amount of wisdom in your years since 21! Isn't it funny how hindsight is 20/20? Great letter

  6. to think julia child is just a funny talking woman...if we only knew...thanks for linking with us!

  7. Seriously, that was awesome! So deep, but so many great life lessons right there!! Thank you for the inspiration :)

    1. Thanks, I wanted it to be more fun but that's what came out :)

  8. Thanks for stopping into The Chapters of Our Lives. Loved reading your post as well. You are an inspiration. Things always do get better, it just takes time.

  9. Love this letter to your 21 year old self, can so relate to a LOT of this hahaha :-)

  10. I love this idea! I so need to do this to my 18 year old self! p.s. ever! :) Hope to see you at the yelp events next week.

  11. Love this post!! You've given yourself great advice. :) I wish I could go back and give my 21 year old self a dose of reality and an infusion of humor! She needed it.