Job hunting blues

Happy Monday, ya'll. I feel like I haven't been a very good blogger lately. True, I have posted here and there but not a whole lot of substance posts....mainly because I've felt very blah. Remember about 2 1/2 months ago when I talked (oh, soooo ignorantly) about hoping to find a job in the events industry and saying I didn't want to settle for just any ol' office job like the past? Well, folks I'm putting my foot in my mouth.

Turns out, it isn't as easy as I was "assuming" it'd be. I have been lucky enough to work part time setting up some bea-utiful weddings and I feel pretty lucky to even get paid to help with such an event. BUT contrary to what some people believe, these aren't my designs, visions, or ideas. They are mostly, the lovely Emilee's and again I'm glad to be a part of it.

My severance package will expire soon and regardless of what I want, I do need a job. While I haven't gotten any call backs for jobs I WANT, I have gotten so many calls for jobs that I...don't.

Lots of insurance jobs. And I know most of us don't love our jobs so why should I be any different? The thing is, I didn't hate my last job. I just didn't love it, if that makes sense?

...HOWEVER

I hate being home all day, even more. I like change but I also crave some stability and routine. And as much as I love Gigi, being home all day long with a dog doesn't make for the best conversation. The first six weeks or so of my unemployment was actually great. I made lunch dates, went to the gym often, slept in...loved it.

Something has happened after our cruise. Vacay is officially over and I have nothing to look forward to. So I am home, and have become complacent. I don't want to be dramatic and say I'm depressed, but I'm not really me lately either. I don't have a huge desire to do much of anything while I'm at home. I'm desperate for a job just to have a purpose again. I never thought I'd say that but it's true. I just feel...here. That's not a great feeling for someone like myself who really enjoys being busy and having five hundred things going on at once.

I have a job interview today. I've heard mixed things about this office so I don't have high hopes for it. I had an interview last week for a medical trade school doing admissions. I was initially excited until I realized the job sounded more like a pushy sales job than helping people fulfill their dreams. It paid really generously but the position didn't sit well with me and I think the manager I met with could tell so, too.

So that's where I'm at. Needing a job to feel like a human being again. Wanting something in the events industry and not finding it. Worrying that I'll be unhappy.

Thanks for letting me vent out here on my little ol' blog. I think I needed it.

XOXO,
Nichole