Monday, February 11, 2013

Why I am finally doing it

Losing weight, that is. Every.year. I resolve to move my ass and lose this weight! Every.year, I start off grand and then fall back into old habits {they die hard for a reason, kids}.

Last year I lost twenty or so pounds. I was feeling great! I restricted my carb intake and got my booty moving every day {every day, yolo. I actually hate that acronym, but I digress}. Then, we went on a cruise for our one year wedding anniversary, I started for real job hunting {after a four month hiatus from real life} and I let my hard work, though it wasn't all that hard at the time, go out the effing window.

I gained thirty pounds back. THIRTY, people. I am about to be super real with you all and tell you that my size 16/18 jeans no longer fit. I had to go the next size up. The.next.size.UP. Do you know how absolutely terrible I felt? And yet, I couldn't find whatever it was within myself that I needed to make the necessary changes.

Why am I finally able to see the light? There are two main reasons:

1) My best friend. I love the shizz out of her. She had her own personal battles and life obstacles and she did gain weight {most likely, a lot of us would have}. But she made huge changes in her life and started working out. And I see her now and she looks ah-mazing {A, if you're reading this, I will say it again. AH-MAZING, betch. I love your face!}. Of course you see people after they have lost weight and/or us bloggers read the success stories of those who have lost the fat and kept it off. But this was someone near and dear to me and I saw her hard work paying off. And it has taken her time and she still wants to do more {though I think she looks great as she is} but somewhere something finally clicked in me after seeing her. She started her journey last February and it's been a year and whether she got off her keister or not, that year was going to pass and I thought, "Do I want to let an entire whole year pass me by and I do nothing, yet again?" In case you're wondering, my reply {to myself, please tell me you also talk to yourself sometimes?! Totally normal, yes?} was, "No, I need to make a change"...

{amazing!}

2) Las Vegas, baby. I had told people for years that when I celebrated my last year in my twenties, I wanted to say farewell in Vegas. And my wonderful husband came through for me and we went. And I had a great time but I was also...miserable. Who is miserable on vacation in Sin City? This kid, right here. We walked everywhere, ya'll. And my legs hurt and my feet hurt and my ankles were swollen. It was c-o-l-d and the only "cute" coat I found before our trip was a 2x, I haven't been thin like ever, but somehow I have always managed to stay away from an "X" anything for clothes. I cried in the store with my husband there. I was {still am} mortified beyond belief at how badly I have let myself go. And I saw other girls dressed to go out for the night or wear cute winter clothes and I just felt fat, frumpy and extremely dumpy.

The night of my twenty-ninth birthday, Jason and I were rushing to get to the Luxor in time to catch a show and I was on the verge of tears in pain at how badly my legs burned trying to walk at a brisk pace. Twenty-nine, kids. Wanting to just go back to our room and cry.

{2-9 trying to be happy but feeling like sh!t inside}
{and my jeans were so tight and I was miserable}


I didn't take any real fun photos of myself or of Jason & I on our trip. I have hardly any photographic memories and while I really did have a good time, I could have had a better time. And I realized then that my weight and appearance have affected a lot of my life. I'm not the happy and outgoing person I once was. I get winded and/or hurt faster than before. When you feel like sh!t, the last thing you want is to get all romantical with your husband {romantical is totally a word, by the way}.

I don't want to spend my thirties feeling this way. I want a kid or two soon and I don't want to worry that we can't get preggars and/or that I'm a high risk. I want to be happy and healthy and just feel whole  again.

I've already started working out at a new gym that opened by me and have been back at it on MyFitnessPal {find me: nikkic1284} and I will share more later. But this is why THIS TIME, I will make it stick...

How have you battled your fitness journey?

XOXO,
Nichole



10 comments:

  1. it's so great that you're doing this! reading this blog post was actually super motivational too. I keep making excuses for myself about why I've been eating so much and not working out/moving AT ALL, but it's got to stop.

    keep up the good work! :-)

    -Val @ KnotTiedDown.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. WOW - congrats amy!! I'm right there with you chica ... I'm a 14 now. How did that happen!!! I'm trying to get motivated. I just felt like if I didn't eat terrible the weight would fall off. It hasn't. Lame!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think we all have to come to that realization where we WANT to make lifestyle changes instead of feeling like we're OBLIGED to, because that's the only way we'll make those changes stick (imho). It sounds like you've reached that point, and I know you will get to where you want to be. I'm right there with ya, trying to workout and make more healthy habits myself. It's an ongoing process. I think the best thing is, if we all keep it real with each other, we're in a better position to support each other, which makes regressing more difficult.

    You can DO IT! (Rob Schneider voice) :-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. You can do it girl!!!! I really got into fitness the past few years and now I feel bad if I DON'T go to the gym and actually look forward to exercising. You will def get to that point and once you start seeing the results it'll be easier to be motivated :-) Good luck girl!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Friend, I love you & this was so sweet of you to write. I know you've got it deep down inside of you, I'm just waiting for you to see it. It's not always easy, & more times than not it's a struggle, but keep up your routine that you've got going and you won't want to look back. (And thank you Krystal!) <3

    ReplyDelete
  6. I know you can do it Nichole! You have a great support system near you. And even though I am 1000 miles away, I am also part of your support system. <3 Just remember that you need to have the mentality to be healthier and more fit and not the mentality that you have to lose weight. That will come right behind the being healthy and fit part. And we can always talk on Google Hangout if you want to chat and what not. Love you!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm so proud of you for sharing this! You can and will do it!!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. This is very inspirational! I love your honesty, and wish you nothing but the best Nichole! Hope you share your journey :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Nichole, I was in the same situation, and still am working on it, but you can do this thing girl:):) When I went on vaca in December, it was harder for me to keep on going with the weight loss, too! After a month, I realized that I needed to get back on track. Just remember each and every day is a new start and when you get off track, you can get back on the "band wagon" and keep on keeping on:) Believe in yourself and what you can accomplish!! Just like someone commented above, look at it as lifestyle change.

    Good luck and hope to hear about your progress:):):)

    ReplyDelete