Wednesday, December 21, 2011

That time I went to Wal-Mart...

So as you all know, all my husband wanted from "Santa" was a LOTR marathon (That’s Lord Of The Rings if ya didn’t know. Because I didn’t until readers commented on the original post I did about this) with me.

Could I not just give him that?! Well, no actually I could not/can not. I personally enjoy buying gifts this time of year for those I love and I wasn’t going to let him ruin it for me. Plus it is our first married Christmas and I’m trying to create some  memories here, spouse. Yeesh…

I have hinted to J these last few weeks that Gigi bought him a few gifts (had to find that loophole, ya’ll), and I think he is a little more into Christmas and presents since he knows he is getting stuff. I didn’t go overboard and I did spend some money towards gifts for kids who needed them more than we did. But, I can tell hubs is looking a *little* forward to it.


J tells me I can get him a stocking stuffer and buy him some new ahem,  underwear. Look, we’re married. It’s cool, I guess . I’ve never bought a guy that ish but if he wants them, whatever. I mean, I wish he would have asked for a video game or something instead, but I digress.

Hubs is a simple kind of dude. He doesn’t need no fancy underoos. No sir…So yesterday on my lunch hour I head to the one place I despise when time is short, the same place that is always crowded, never has baskets close to the entrance and where the parking undoubtedly always, blows. Yes, Wal-mart. I should have known better, ya’ll. I only had an hour; it’s five days before Christmas and I run into Wally World for friggin’ underwear…

Since there is NO basket close by (um, for the record Target has baskets at their  entrance) I decide I have to buy something else, because if you think I’m walking around with some mens undies (eh, I should probably find a better adjective than undies for a man, yes?) by their lonesome, you are in-sane.

I peruse the Christmas stuff near the entrance and find another gift for the spouse (so there you go, you got a bonus gift because evidently your wife is a prude) before heading to the men’s section.

I find what I’m looking for and hightail it to the register. The cashier is totally not paying attention and takes a very long time to scan two items (did I already mention I was on my lunch hour?!). After what feels like for-ever, I pay for said items and walk out.

As I am walking out, I double check my bag only to discover the freakin’ underwear are NOT in the bag. I repeat, Sooo, I head back  to the (clearly competent) cashier and explain that I left a bag. I get a blank stare, naturally. The guy who was behind me, and his ridiculously good looking lady friend look around trying to help me before the guy (who looks like he is not  the type to buy his  underthings at a Wal-mart) looks in his bag to discover the cashier put our items...together. As he hands me my husband's newly purchased underwear, I wanted to just crawl under the register and die.

Don't worry, my very fancy husband got some actual nice gifts as well; just in case you were wondering

And that’s the time I went to Walmart, five days before Christmas… Oy


  1. I love you guys; you are hilarious. :-)

  2. Haha actually I could use some underwear for Christmas too, if you're buying. : ]

    I can't handle the Walmart near my house anytime let alone 5 days before Christmas. You.are.bold!