I have a confession to make: I have been a negative
nancy Nichole, recently. And that’s not the entire confession I suppose, but rather that I have NO reason to have been such a asshole downer, lately.
I mean, yes we all have our good and bad days (don’t we?) but for the most part, my life is pretty great. I’m not trying to toot my own horn, but really my life for me is wonderful. Our bills are more than paid (in my single days, I made a lot less and had a lot more debt/bills of my own), I love the heck out that husband of mine. Even though I was unemployed for four months, I had a regular paycheck coming in every two weeks as a nice lil’ severance. I took a part time gig setting up weddings. I have THE best pup in the world (I may be biased) and a ton of friends from all walks of life and a family who I would do anything for (even if we piss each other off)...
I have no idea where the negativity has come from. I don’t think I have always been this way and I think unless you really, really know me you don’t always see this side of me.
But I’m a whiner, a complainer, a downer, at times. I don’t mean to be, it just…happened. For whatever reason, I don’t fully ever relax any more. I worry, stress, complain about…most things. And lately, I have allowed those who are selfish, hurtful or negative around me, affect my mood. And those people aren't worthy of such control, either.
This new job is good and bad. What I mean is that it is pretty challenging and I haven’t been challenged by a job in…five or six years, maybe? Last week was my first week alone and away from the safety that is training; you know where you’re slightly coddled and feel safe and warm? And while it was information overload, it wasn’t terrible. But I bitched and moaned almost every.day about my commute. Now that that awful drive is over, I miss that classroom environment.
Now, that I have an awesome freaking commute (eleven minutes each way!! I’ve timed six days now and no matter how many lights I hit or don’t, it is still eleven minutes. Ah-mazing), I have stressed about the job. I mean like came home, had some adult bevvy’s every.night and wanted to cry. I don’t like not knowing everything immediately and having to still figure it all out.
But boo freaking hoo. Life goes on…There is absolutely NO reason for me to have been so down lately ::knock on wood:: I/we don’t have any real issues in our life. Sure there is every day stress but any and all drama in my life is because of me and me alone.
I mean, there are people out there with legit issues in their lives. There are folks out there that can’t feed their kids, pay their bills , etc etc…
Things have gotta change around here. Only I can change it, and I am starting it, now!
Have you ever had an extended case of the crabbies for no reason? How did you get out of your funk?