Tuesday, March 20, 2012

It's my blog and I'll vent if I want to...

I try and keep my blog light but honest; however with some things weighing heavy on my mind and heart, I need to get this out...

I'm a good friend. And a good person (clearly I am also way  modest, yes?). I try and include everyone I know into everything I do (I blame my mom for this since I'm the oldest of four and she taught me to always do this, lol). I have a lot of different types of friends and while some people can't leave their ish at the door when we hang, I can and try to do so.

I like to have a good time and I'm not saying if you're truly having a bad day and/or have some issues with me for whatever reason, let's talk about it at a time that is more appropriate. Not in front of gobs of people or worse yet, strangers.

I also take on too much. We help babysit our niece and nephew (who are thirteen months apart) because their family situation is...complicated and both J and I feel (hope and pray) that our influence in their lives and the experiences and situations we try and subject them to will better them for the future and that someday they'll make good choices in their lives.

Basically I get walked on. A lot. Please don't think I think I am a sucker and "poor me". I don't think that at all. And I'm not some perfect person and/or friend all the time, myself. I'm not trying to say I am.

....HOWEVER...

I do try and be a friend  to everyone I know. I feel like I have a lot of friends. Some aquaintances, some pals and some like actual family. Sometimes it truly hurts my feelings when I put all of ME into a relationship with someone (friendships and family) to get nothing in return. How is it that I can be  there for YOU, even if a situation is awkward and then when something happens with me, you're nowhere....? I can say this for a few friends. And it hurts. It actually feels like absolute crap.

I have some other friends who always say they want to get together and they miss me. Look, I get that life gets in the way and we don't always have time for one another but don't say it and do nothing until I am the one who initiates a hang out. Why is it my job, all the time?

I used to freak out about every little thing (I'm sure my husband would say I still do b/c he lives with me, lol) and have gotten better at letting things go and/or forgiving people.

But sometimes, I feel like its not fair to me and I don't deserve it. I'm just tired of it. For realz.

That's all...

8 comments:

  1. Good rant girl, I fel the SAME way sometimes bc I make so much of an effort to hang out with certain friends that don't make the time for me, so I have started to worry less about it and focus on the strong friendships I DO have and grow those :-)

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  2. I have some friends like that and I pretty much just stopped talking to them. They aren't true friends and they aren't worth your time. Family is a little more complicated, but I feel the same way about them. Don't call, text or write them and if they truly care they will contact you (or come see you). **Hugs**

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  3. Oh girl =[ Your vacation will do you some good!

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  4. Everyone deserves a good rant. And your friend are here to listen/read. I completely understand where you're coming from. It's sometimes hard to find that line with some people. Hang in there. And remember, I still love you =)

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  5. oh. my. gosh. this blogpost is my LIFE right now. I've been dealing with a very similar situation and it's so frustrating. I'm the person who tends to get walked all over too.. and anything that's going to happen has to be initiated by me a lot of the time. It's so tiresome! Hope things get better for you!

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  6. It's okay to vent! One-sided friendships are the WORST, and I've been there too. All you can do is focus on the real friends in your life, who undoubtedly appreciate what a great friend you are to them. Try not to get down about things and know that you have a huge support system around you. {hugs}

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  7. I can completely relate! The biggest thing for me is when they say they are busy but your schedule is 10 times more full yet you still try to make time for them! But obviously you know you are a great friend so you should have no trouble making even better new friends :)
    Can't wait to meet you IRL on Friday!

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  8. You are a sweetheart and one amazing friend (I can tell just by the love you show me that you are amazing to your friends). I totally understand this rant and you deserve to 'get it out' girly. Thank you for being a BIG sweetheart, always!!

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