I'm a good friend. And a good person (clearly I am also way modest, yes?). I try and include everyone I know into everything I do (I blame my mom for this since I'm the oldest of four and she taught me to always do this, lol). I have a lot of different types of friends and while some people can't leave their ish at the door when we hang, I can and try to do so.
I like to have a good time and I'm not saying if you're truly having a bad day and/or have some issues with me for whatever reason, let's talk about it at a time that is more appropriate. Not in front of gobs of people or worse yet, strangers.
I also take on too much. We help babysit our niece and nephew (who are thirteen months apart) because their family situation is...complicated and both J and I feel (hope and pray) that our influence in their lives and the experiences and situations we try and subject them to will better them for the future and that someday they'll make good choices in their lives.
Basically I get walked on. A lot. Please don't think I think I am a sucker and "poor me". I don't think that at all. And I'm not some perfect person and/or friend all the time, myself. I'm not trying to say I am.
I do try and be a friend to everyone I know. I feel like I have a lot of friends. Some aquaintances, some pals and some like actual family. Sometimes it truly hurts my feelings when I put all of ME into a relationship with someone (friendships and family) to get nothing in return. How is it that I can be there for YOU, even if a situation is awkward and then when something happens with me, you're nowhere....? I can say this for a few friends. And it hurts. It actually feels like absolute crap.
I have some other friends who always say they want to get together and they miss me. Look, I get that life gets in the way and we don't always have time for one another but don't say it and do nothing until I am the one who initiates a hang out. Why is it my job, all the time?
I used to freak out about every little thing (I'm sure my husband would say I still do b/c he lives with me, lol) and have gotten better at letting things go and/or forgiving people.
But sometimes, I feel like its not fair to me and I don't deserve it. I'm just tired of it. For realz.